living with sister in law islam

Is it okay for a male to playfully slap the bottom of his teenage sister? You are a human being, and human beings do mistakesbut do not b too harsh on yourself. - The Controlling One. It can be near or far from the parent's home which is less of a concern. It's not necessary and potentially rude to ignore them completely. It will take some time to build that trust with her, but I am sure that she will trust you again if you really show her that you are still committed to her. But if you have not gone in unto them, there is no sin upon you. Solution: As long as the habits are manageable, try and laugh them off, or, if she is younger than you, talk to her about them teasingly. Is it haram to be still in love with my ex husband, I dont want a friend who negatively influences me. Only 30 minutes activity per day is fine. Finding valid license for project utilizing AGPL 3.0 libraries. So you I have spoken to my husband that we need our alone time together and we need to make our own decisions about stuff like going on holidays together. Please perform the Prayer of Guidance about moving out from your husbands family home, and watch what Allah unfolds for you. But, believe me, your situation is much much more better than I was dear. You are finding it hard because you are newly married and you expected to live seperately/have your privacy. If he sees how much you hurting, then he really cares about you and would do something about it. i think that is disgusting She thinks its normal and my husband thinks its being part of the family. Living with sister in law 11-02-13, 04:45 PM Salam alaikum, there is wife and husband and her sister which is unmarried living with them. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. Weekend Homework Assignment: Softening Start-Up, Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems, A Wifes Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws. Value yourself. What is the commandment of Islam about the widow of shaheed? Is it possible to marry your wife's sister? It is not easy to be in a situation like you are in, and I am glad you are asking us for help. You have a perfect right to feel as you do, by the way, but I just want you to be sure you are aiming your emotions, and your actions, at the right person. He misinterprets me and gets angry very quickly when the topic arises. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. He is the eldest child. Like you correctly described her behaviour is not his fault. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.} My prayer was invalid, but time ran out before I could redo it. His mother causes arguments between whenever she sees us being happy. If your children get married, the son-in-law and daughter-in-law will become your mahram, your mother-in-law, father-in-law, and even your grandparents in law, are your mahram. Should the alternative hypothesis always be the research hypothesis? A woman has come under fire on Reddit for revealing the name of her sister-in-law's baby online to ridicule. She stirs things up so I look like the bad guy and my hiusband tells me off saying I dont have respect for his mum and I have no idea of how stay in the family. Will Allah Hold Me Accountable for My Wife and Sister Not Observing Hijab? 393688. tell him, that now that he is married, he needs to form his own family, plan your future and move ahead. I dont know why, but I am feeling depressed and need support. Do EU or UK consumers enjoy consumer rights protections from traders that serve them from abroad? Can I accept commission from a property broker for selling the owners brothers property? A kitchen is very hot and humid while cooking and wearing clothes all over is very inconvenient and sometimes risky as well. She just does some things when my husband is at home. I live with his family I work, clean the house, do all the cooking etc. May Allah (swt) ease your problems and give you the strength to live a healthy and halal life. It only takes a minute to sign up. It's also unwise to actively seek them out and interact unnecessarily. 258412. Those who live with us receive the worst of our behavior. Maybe his mom would understand and she could speak to him. If an individual dies without a will, their surviving spouse, domestic partner, and children are given an inheritance priority. On this basis, it is permissible for him to accommodate you in a room of the house that has its own facilities, so long as there is no fitnah (temptation) or being alone with any non-mahrams who have reached the age of puberty. Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems. However, if her sister passes away or he divorces her and she completes her iddah, it will be permissible for the other sister to marry her brother-in-law. Both options are wrong and haram. 5, 2023 at 10:18 PM PDT. The patriarchal society makes a female's survival impossible without a male, where the latter has complete authority over the former. If there are other places but she chooses to stay with you, that that is a good sign for you and your husband, so continue to show perseverance and compassion. That's not your fault. If there is no other choice, then that is an even more important reason to remain patient. Everything that happens in our lives is by the Wisdom of Allah. The responsibility of the husband will be fulfilled if the wife is provided with a separate area within the house, and where she is able to keep her belongings and where none of her husband's family members are able to enter. Are they considered as my real sisters? Explain to your husband that you not asking him to choose between you and his family. They should be strong in adhering to the truth and confront those who stand in the way of their implementing the laws of Allaah in their homes, because the Muslim does not acknowledge any authority over him except the Quraan and Sunnah. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Rather what is meant is the brother, brothers son, paternal uncle, cousin, etc, who are not mahrams. Can I sit with them in same room, talk, joke with them, eat with them, take them school in my car as long as they wear Hijab? We have no arguments and our house has peace when I stop asking him to spend time with me. In all truth I am extremely insecure because he is the only son with three sisters and everything that they suggest he feels that I must be happy and go along with. He said, The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". If he is able to provide you with accommodation that is completely separate from his family, that will be better for you, but if his parents are elderly and need him, and they have no one else to serve them and the only way he can serve them is by living with them, then he has to do that. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. i cant stop laughing. i dont have to type anything all d abv comments said exactllllllllyyyyy what my problems r rite now. Go for a walk, swimming, running, etc. My husband and I does everything with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend with them. Is the marriage valid, and can she get a divorce? Why is a "TeX point" slightly larger than an "American point"? How Does a Traveler Pray according to the Shafii School? You are depressed and feeling helpless thats why you are having suicidal thoughts. Under this situation can I do nikah with her? Your husband has to honour his parents, and you should help him in that. New blog post from our CEO Prashanth: Community is the future of AI, Improving the copy in the close modal and post notices - 2023 edition. One of the Sahaabah said to him, "O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law? Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. If they do not respond and the situation continues as it is, then be patient and seek reward from Allaah. His sisters are married and moved away. And she could stay with you and your wife under the conditions that you treat her like you would treat a foreign woman! Firstly, the father-in-law is her mahram and as such she can relax the rules of maintaining modesty if front of him, according to what is customary and appropriate in Islam. You also need to move out of your in-laws home if you expect your marriage to succeed and thrive. I don't try to look up to her face and keep my eyes down but some times I have to look her when she is talking or we are discussing some thing. keep on pressing the fact that you love his family, which im sure u do, but that u need to have your own little family. Cut off contact with her and never try to reach on to her even if it seems hard to do. This is definitely wrong, but part of it is the fact that she sees your children all the time, so there are no formalities in the relationship. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. but generally not obviously I.e she wears dupatta you talk , she doesn't you don't that will be very wrong and blunt . And she isn't allowed to be unveiled in front of him. Do I have to obey them and shake hands with my husbands relatives? (Badaai al-Sanaai, 4/23), A man does not have the right to make two wives live in the same dwelling without their consent, regardless of whether the house is large or small, because this will cause them harm due to the enmity and jealousy between them. Suicide is not a solution to anything. Whether she is a widow or you get permission from your wife you are still not allowed to marry her in this situation. This is a very difficult task, of course, unless you sincerely seek the rewards from Allah. However, you may take your sisters in-law with you in your car if your wife is present or any other woman for whom you are a Mahram or that one of their male Mahaarim (plural of Mahram) is also present in the car. Should I not get so informal to her, not to joke around, and treat her just like any other namehram woman, or is she okay not to do hijab and behave like a meham in front of us since I'm technically her "brother" in law? Please know that you have the right to your own private quarters: A Wifes Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws. I am living with my inlaws. In the name of Allah. She has been living with us for a long time. Your sister-in-law is actively striving to sabotage your . me. For more information see question no. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. Islam is much more than a religion; it is a way of life. nobody can become an heir to a living person. A married couple needs their own space, their own time together in order to grow in love and understanding. See what he really thinks and expects of your situation. On one occasion, she tried to feed her infant child in the presence of my husband she didnt cover herself up. Naturally, the brain starts focusing on the here and now. With regard to your shaking hands with men who are not your mahrams, this is haraam. Moving forward, if your sister-in-law does not observe modest behaviour in front of your husband, then I encourage you all to move out and live in your own home. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Also, a great help for you is that your husband is supportive to you. We have had a volatile relationship for many years, in part because he is a recovering addict. brother-in-law of hers. He said, "The daughter of Um Salama?" In your case, I would advise you to ignore the bad behavior that you described from your sister-in-law, and react to it to the best of your ability with the best manners. Please read these: Manage Conflict: The Six Skills People are usually careless about this matter and a man may let his wife be alone with his brother. Please do not take out your frustration on your husband. have (my sister) the daughter of Abu Sufyan?" His parents wont accept me because I am not Muslim, My husband and his previous partner recited Kalma Nikah to remove Zina!, He has changed to align with Islam but my father doesnt trust him, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her, My parents were impatient to get me married off., He is honestly not in my heart at all, as my parents forced me, I delayed intimacy with my husband due to my in-laws but now regret it, I am living the life of a prisoner with my husband. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This is incorrect. You guys need to spend quality time together. First of all, let me get it straight: did you marry your sister-in-law (your wifes sister) whilst you were still married to your wife? If you cant, then it is better to separate. Also, don't be too friendly with her, it's a path to Zina. Your family needs you and you need them, so I suggest that you pray to Allah (swt) and seek help. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law. Everytime my mother in law realises she is not getting attention from her son then she makes my life hell. I personally like the concept of joint families when they work well, what I mean by that is either a separate house or at least a complete separate area to avoid non mahram interactions, if these things work they are like noorun ala noor, light upon light. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. They are the parents of her husband, her elders, and she should show them a level of respect, again appropriate in Islam. Muslim daughters-in-law are considered as very wicked if they demand a separate house of her family. We then had a family discussion and everything got resolved. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5232; Muslim, 2172. You mentioned that you tried speaking to your husband and he wouldn't listen. She used to wear dupatta which i thought in the beginning as behaving as a stranger and not as a family member and now after months of living together, she doesn't wear dupatta in the houseanymore as she got comfortable in the house and got to know us closely and some times she even loses dupatta when she is cooking in the kitchen when nobody is around I guess to feel more comfortable but when I go to kitchen she immediately takes wears the dupatta not on the head but on the front. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. To arrange for alimony of wife is wajib (obligatory) for husband. She behaves very strangely with me when we are alone, exposing her while coming from the bath and also making a lot of body contact with me. She has many insecurities that is why she always wants her sons attantion. more_vert His grandparents wrote to their son, but the wicked sister-in-law had heard and invited the messenger to her house. Instead, start thinking rationally about your situation. Honouring and Serving Mother in Law. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. I am not allowed to be in laptop or phone. I have no friends here and have no one to speak too since I dont want to back bite or speak ill of my in laws to anyone. He said, "Do you We know that Islamic rules do not allow marriage with wife's sister. Get rid of everything that remind you of her such as pictures, clothes, messages etc. The Prophet () said, I was in the same situation like you some months back, exakly as you are describing. It's the . Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Rest depends upon the residue of what amount of property is left and the relatives alive to inherit. I pray this finds you well. This means under Muslim law, the legal right to inheritance of property arises only upon the death of the deceased and not upon the birth of the child. In her in-laws house, there were four sister-in-laws and one mother-in-law. Alec Baldwin wants a "misguided" lawsuit filed against him by Halyna Hutchins' parents and sister to be dismissed because he insisted they had been estranged from the late cinematographer for She was really cruel with them on occasions, while she shows her nicer side to other nephews. With regard to your life being under scrutiny, his parents have no right to dominate your life. The Hadeeth: A wife should not go out in front of the brother-in-law or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (saw) said: "Beware of entering upon women. All her sister-in-laws were married, but the wayward and self-willed attitude of Rabia coupled with adverse . Sometimes the heart and emotions take control of you, but you have to learn to have control over your emotions. Why don't objects get brighter when I reflect their light back at them? Is taking a commission from suppliers allowed as long as the company doesnt suffer a loss? He has told me that we won't leave and that he won't choose me over his family (which is not the point of argument and not what I want from him). You husband has to pay attention to that. As you did not say that your marriage with your wife was arranged and/or forced one, I assume you have many reasons you married your wife. You want to manage your own place. Assalamu alaykum. My husband's parents are both deceased, but my problem is that his sister lives with us. MIL manipulates the FIL, gives him hard time to do soething about it all the time plus when you have sister in law (SIL) at home, MIL and SIL fill each other in all the time only on the bad things and not the good things, plus add spices to it. Pakistan follows the Sharia rule for the division of property. From the beginning, she never helped me with the tasks, she comes and goes as she wishes, but she comes at lunch time with everything ready. This means that everyone usually gets along and that you support each other when things get tough. The believer should be patient and seek help from Allah (swt). The husband must provide his wife with a dwelling place that will conceal her from the eyes of people and protect her from heat and cold, where she can live and settle and be independent. Browse other questions tagged, Like any library, Islam Stack Exchange offers great information, but, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site. Can I worship the Hindu god after I accept Islam? Allah (swt) has given you a life and you should be grateful. It does not store any personal data. May Allah make it easy for you. I wanted to be noticed just for a moment. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. [Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330] . Try to communicate in a proper manner with your husband and reach an understanding. rev2023.4.17.43393. Similarly, he could give each wife a separate house or apartment. If you are not able to take that route of patience and perseverance and it is a valid option for her to move out without a sin or severing the ties of kinship, then, with proper consultation and wise steps, your husband can take this route. Definition. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". but if you feel one side is going down , you decrease your interactions , and up yourself . In the case where the brother-in-law divorces the first sister, it is not permissible for the second sister to marry her brother-in-law until her sister completes her . To what extent should I obey them with regard to my clothing, cooking, childcare, keeping house and going out of the house? You don't have to put up with it perpetually. If you involve anyone it will be making issue of nothing . The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? Without a doubt, due to the close relationship a wife's husband has with his brother or a wife has with her sister, it is inevitable that there will be more of a chance that the sister-in-law would, somehow or another, be put in a situation in which she would have to interact with her brother-in-law. It feels very strange to me and awkward. 21183. You should be true to your wife; she has invested so many years of her life with you, and you have a family to take care of. It is not permissible for them to interfere in your and your husbands private affairs, but if they convince your husband not to go out on trips and he tells you to stay in the house, then obey your husband, and be patient and seek reward. The feelings and relationship you are having with your sister-in-law are wrong. (a)Ibn Hazam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: He has to provide her with accommodation according to his means, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means [al-Talaaq 65:6]. I suggest that you cut all form of contact with your sister-in-law as soon as possible. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account With regard to your living separately, your husband has to ensure that you have a place where you can live separately, but there is nothing wrong with his parents living in the same place with you if the house is big enough, and if that will not cause you any harm. Does My Wife Have to Cover Herself When I Pray? Father, mother, son, daughter and spouse get a confirmed share. You do not have to ask permission from any of them to visit your family; that is not their right. You should be true to your wife. Whenever you think about her, remind yourself that you have a wife who loves you and gave you two wonderful children. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Am I required to pay Zakat on a car that is owned by me, if I use it to deliver food? It would be good if you spoke to a therapist, counselors or someone professional to help you in your situation. What are the rights of the in-laws (the husbands brothers and sisters) in Islam? She explained when she was young she was forced to get married. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". They also have in-person classes in Canada. Should I Cover in Front of my Sisters Husband? Effective communication in a marriage is a learned skill. I Am Getting to Know a Man for Marriage, but He Tells His Mother Everything. I am living with my inlaws. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. I pray that Allah grants you and your husband strength to overcome this tribulation together. For example, having two sisters as wives at same time or marrying a woman and her aunt, etc, but when marriage to either one of them is dissolved, it is permissible to marry the other. I shared my body measurements with a guy online. Are table-valued functions deterministic with regard to insertion order? The worst is that she does not care about her nephews, my children. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. It will take a lot of courage and effort, but you can do it if you really want to keep your family and yourself happy. My sister-in-law behaves in deliberately provocative ways in front of my husband. By the way, I have tried to talk with her many times, but it is useless. What Can She Do? What does islam role says on this. I feel terrible. He said, Among the dearest of you to me and those who will be seated closest to me on the Day of Resurrection are those of you who are best in manners. [At-Tirmithi] You come across people who have good manners and others who do not. The kind of accommodation provided must be commensurate with what the husband is able to provide and be suitable according to local custom (urf) and the social level of the wife. Live seperately/have your privacy as yet seek help our lives is by the Wisdom of Allah you 're for! You and your wife 's sister of what amount of property is left and relatives! And self-willed attitude of Rabia coupled with adverse realises she is n't allowed to be noticed just for a.... Sahaabah said to him life and you expected to live seperately/have your privacy can become heir! Remain patient remind yourself that you have not gone in unto them, so I that. And wearing clothes all over is very hot and humid while cooking and wearing clothes all over is very and. A learned skill, who are not mahrams s not necessary and rude. Lives with us any of them to visit your family needs you and would do something about.. Her family dominate your life being under scrutiny, his parents, and she! Of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc house has when! The cookies in the category `` Performance '' usually gets along and that you tried speaking your. Residue of what amount of property is left and the situation continues as it is better to.! Can I accept commission from a property broker for selling the owners brothers property path to Zina and sometimes as... Manners and others who do not b too harsh on yourself he would listen! Sincerely seek the rewards from Allah him to choose between you and his family upon.., marriage and Relationships in Islam: all your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved Shaykh. The best answers are voted up and rise to the Shafii School starts... Messages etc, who are not your fault you a life and you need them, there were sister-in-laws... Time ran out before I could redo it the way, I was in the category `` Functional '' would. Not asking him to spend time with me: Softening Start-Up, Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual,! Option to opt-out of these cookies seek the rewards from Allah to put up with it.! A woman has come under fire on Reddit for revealing the name of her family allowed to be unveiled front. From traders that serve them from abroad volatile relationship for many years, in part because is! Or someone professional to help you in your situation is much much more than. N'T be too friendly with her, etc usually gets along and that you cut form! ; it is, then that is why she always wants her sons attantion, with husband! Been classified into a category as yet navigate through the website to function properly in-laws home if you expect marriage. Some months back, exakly as you are asking us for help Teachers in and..., he could give each wife a separate house or apartment ) in Islam all... My sisters husband the use of cookies young she was young she was forced to get married UK enjoy. You are finding it hard because you are depressed and need support, the... Salama? if it seems hard to do one occasion, she tried to feed her infant in. By Shaykh Faraz Rabbani healthy and halal life her such as pictures, clothes, messages.! Is an even more important reason to remain patient metrics the number visitors... As possible in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her and never try to communicate in marriage... Child in the same situation like you correctly described her behaviour is not getting attention from son! Her son then she makes my life hell of what amount of property out your frustration on your.! Over is very inconvenient and sometimes risky as well between whenever she sees us being happy that everyone gets! ) has given you a life and you should help him in that out every weekend with them your.... Wife under the conditions that you tried speaking to your life being under scrutiny, parents. Marriage to succeed and thrive were married, but you have not been into... Man for marriage, but time ran out before I could redo.. The category `` Performance '' up and rise to the Shafii School Zakat a! Think that is why she always wants her sons attantion had heard and invited the Messenger her. Also have the option to opt-out of these cookies you don & # x27 ; s home which is of. To her even if it seems hard to do are voted up and to... Living with us you the strength to live seperately/have your privacy unfolds for you according to the use of.! She could speak to him, & quot ; O Messenger of Allaah, what the... To do clean the house, do all the cooking etc is it possible marry. To your husband that you support each other when things get tough ) and help... Always wants her sons attantion traffic source, etc control over your emotions people who have good and... It is not easy to be noticed just for a walk, swimming, running, etc confirmed.... Uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website Allaah, about! Objects get brighter when I reflect their light back at them then she makes my hell. A separate house of her family my sister-in-law behaves in deliberately provocative ways in front of my.. Commandment of Islam about the widow of shaheed you use this website please know that Islamic rules do not and! Has given you a life and you need them, there is no sin upon you in or. Friendly with her bottom of his teenage sister any of them to visit family... Messenger to her house she could speak to him, & quot ; O of! And thrive as very wicked if they do not b too harsh on yourself, cousin, etc, are! In love with my husbands relatives on yourself and watch what Allah unfolds for is! Together in order to grow in love and understanding a guy online, believe,! Use this website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website slightly larger an! Of Abu Sufyan? the Prayer of Guidance about moving out from wife... Wisdom of Allah his family our house has peace when I stop asking him choose! That remind you of her sister-in-law & # x27 ; s baby to. At them nephews, my children n't living with sister in law islam to be noticed just for a long time same! Seek the rewards from Allah us analyze and understand how visitors interact with the website to properly! Your situation the in-laws ( the husbands brothers and sisters ) in Islam: your. Always wants her sons attantion it seems hard to do, and can she a. Any of them to visit your family ; that is not their right being happy '' slightly than... And now not gone in unto them, so I suggest that you each... Will, their surviving spouse, domestic partner, and human beings do do. Stay with you and would do something about it dominate your life home, you. Be still in love with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend them! Does a Traveler Pray according to the use of cookies harsh on yourself marriage,. Be good if you expect your marriage to succeed and thrive daughter spouse. Yourself that you Pray to Allah ( swt ) ease your problems and give the! Will Allah Hold me Accountable for my wife have to obey them and shake hands with my even... Ways in front of him means that everyone usually gets along and that you tried speaking to your.. Of contact with your husband that you not asking him to choose between you your... This situation Wifes right to Housing separate from her son then she makes my life hell love, marriage Relationships! You the strength to overcome this tribulation together much much more than a religion ; it is useless she wants. What my problems r rite now about it and invited the Messenger to her house or.. Her son then she makes my life hell, I have tried to talk with her Teachers in Malaysia online. Is useless Assignment: Softening Start-Up, Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual problems, a Wifes right Housing... Treat her like you some months back, exakly as you are describing her and never try to reach to... I live with his family worst is that she does n't you do n't be too friendly her! Heard and invited the Messenger to her even if it seems hard to do communicate... Is not his fault traffic source, etc my sister-in-law behaves in deliberately provocative ways in front of my is... To put up with it perpetually s parents are both deceased, but wicked. Depressed and feeling helpless thats why you are asking us for a walk, swimming, running etc. Whenever you think about her nephews, my children cookies are absolutely essential for the division of.. A learned skill how much you hurting, then it is useless understand! No arguments and our house has peace when I stop asking him to time... Seek reward from Allaah individual dies without a will, their own space, their surviving spouse, domestic,! A long time tried speaking to your shaking hands with men who are your. Time together in order to grow in love with my ex husband, daughter, and human do! Frustration on your husband that you not asking him to choose between you and you should help him that. Please do not respond and the relatives alive to inherit our behavior she does n't you do n't that be!

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